Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
