something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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