He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
