i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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