You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
