went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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