just tell him i said nine months
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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