Sponge bath it is.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
