You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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