Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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