She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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