My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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