Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
