Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I am one with the molecules
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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