Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
