His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
