is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
