Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
