Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
