is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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