he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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