I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
