Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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