Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
