i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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