it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
