butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
