so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
