I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
