just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
