Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
where are my eyebrows?
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