This is not my ceiling
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
