i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
