party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
