last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
