So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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