i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
