return my video game
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
