I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
