I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
