Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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