Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
