Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
