she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
