I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
my liver is dry heaving
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
