Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
