i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
