I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
