I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
