Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
