i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I need moral support for this bender
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
