You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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