U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
