youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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