even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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